“Make-Believe” And “Day-Dreaming”: Where Are You Now, My Friends?

“Make-Believe” And “Day-Dreaming”: Where Are You Now, My Friends?

by:

L.T.Force, Ph.D.

Gerontologist

“I remember….I remember”…. the days of my childhood. These are good memories. Are there things and events that could have been different? Yes….there are. There are things that my Parents could have done differently. But as I reflect on those things and take a mental inventory of what worked and what could have played out differently….I am reminded of a statement that I heard a number of years ago about Modern Psychology. The gist of the statement was: “The beauty of Modern Psychology is that today….as you grow-up you have the ability to blame your parents for the things that have gone wrong in your own life. And that works….until your children start blaming you for things that have gone wrong in their own lives. However, the ironic thing - is that you didn’t even know you had anything to do with what they are blaming you for. In fact. the beauty of Modern Day Psychology, for some, is if things are going wrong in your own life….you can just turn around and blame your parents for it. In my case - no blame laid on my parents….they did the best they could….I own the focus and outcome of my own life events (good and bad)….I own them. So, as I said: “good memories of childhood”.

What are some of those: “good memories”? As I think about it - for sure, my friends, my neighborhood, the schools I attended, my teachers….etc. including: “the games we played” are part of my: “memory-field”. Growing up in a neighborhood provided plenty of opportunity for developing friends, socializing, mastering manners, sportsmanship and engaging in group activity (games and sports). These type of activities were always supported by parents, family members and teachers. However, as in all areas of life - more time is spent alone with oneself….with just you…. and your thoughts. In those solo-activities, for example of: “Make-Believe and Day-Dreaming” they could be your constant companions. In “Make-Believe and Day-Dreaming” these activities provided a: “presence and opportunity to entertain yourself with visual imagery and self-talk”. However, generally they were not provided the same support by parents and teachers - as were group and socialization activities. In fact, for the most part: “Make-Believe and Day-Dreaming”, (i.e, the use of projected imageries and self-talk activities) were discouraged….accompanied with direct statements from parents and teachers….such as: “Stop that - you are wasting your time and you need to pay attention to reality….get busy!”.

“Make-Believe” And “Day-Dreaming”: Where Are You Now, My Friends? The irony found in life! Fast-forward! We are now inundated with suggestions, recommendations and video-clips of how best to live a life more productively and stress-free lby: “gently close your eyes, focus on your breathing….and with each breath you take….you will go deeper and deeper into a relaxed state…..continue to focus on your breathing….and when your mind starts to wonder….just focus on your breathing….and now begin to visualize a place where you feel comfortable and you feel good….surrounded by the people you want to be with….or you can be by yourself….and stay in that moment….a place you have taken yourself to….just focus on your breathing and go deeper and deeper into a relaxed state….

Ironic, hey? Maybe as children we were on to something…..a practice that had benefits and value….something that is now heralded as a good life-practice…..to reduce stress and add balance to your life , i.e, the practice of mindfulness and mediation.

Full circle….ironic, hey!

© 2022 L.T. Force, Ph.D.