Arrogance, Shame and Fear: The Cousins

Arrogance, Shame and Fear: The Cousins

by

L.T. Force, Ph.D.

Gerontologist

What is it that makes people tick? We see all sorts of personalities out there in the world. Some people wear personalities that are “magnetized”, i,e, by their style…. they draw people in. You enjoy, in fact, look forward to be in their presence. Then there are the “other types”….thousands of style and patterns of engaging with others - in fact too many to reference. However,, there is one “stand-out” that you can pick out across the room….in fact, you can feel them heading in your direction as they enter the room - and that is, “the arrogant”.

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Definition of Arrogance:

“having or showing the insulting attitude of people who believe that they are better, smarter, or more important than other people :having or showing arrogance‘

Britannica Dictionary

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In trying to understand or interpret human behavior - one quickly realizes that human behavior is complex, complicated and, at times, unpredictable. In fact,: “the most predictable thing about human behavior….is that it is unpredictable”. The question then  is:”Why, would one want to wear the ‘armor of arrogance?” In thinking about that question, I think we can surmise: “the ‘armor of arrogance’ is a shield - protecting one from some underlying internal competing feelings - like shame and fear”.

With the: ”manifestation of arrogance” - one has the ability to distance themselves from others….but more important: “the armor of arrogance” assists one in fending off internal feelings of: ‘lack-of’….. driven by fear and shame”.

So, what is the: “antidote for arrogance?” For the person presenting an: “arrogant persona” - the recommendation would be:” to engage in a form of insight-oriented psychotherapy or retreat to a meditative, mindfulness-based practice or prayer life”.  For the person, on the receiving end of someone’s arrogant style - the recommendation would be; “to try and understand the origin of that person’s behavior and pray for their healing….because we are all complicated puzzles”.

“Yes, Arrogance, Shame and Fear are related….they cluster together….they are Cousins”.

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