Why be happy….when sad, angry, bitter and resentment adds so much more to your life….and are so readily available as companions.

Why be happy….when sad, angry, bitter and resentment adds so much more to your life….and are so readily available as companions.

by

L.T. Force, Ph.D.

Gerontologist

Think about that: “Why be happy….when sad, angry, bitter and resentment adds so much more to your life…..and are so readily available as companions”. Today, we are exposed to many resources, programs, apps and platforms that: “place an emphasis on: helping you, supporting you and guiding you as you seek to find emotional stability, reduce stress, seek calmness and contentment”. But why use them - when sadness, anger, bitterness and resentment are just: “a call away”?

That is an interesting question: “Why be happy?”. So, in the spirit of the day, I  called upon my new friend - Chat GPT - with that question: “Why be happy?” As expected, within 7 seconds an AI answer was generated:

****

“That’s a deep question. “Why be happy?” touches both philosophy and psychology. Here are a few perspectives that may help:

1. Biological/Health perspective:

Happiness isn’t just a “nice feeling.” It’s linked to lower stress hormones, stronger immunity, healthier heart function, and even longer life expectancy. Being happy supports resilience and recovery.

2. Psychological perspective:

Happiness broadens your thinking and creativity (the “broaden-and-build theory” in psychology). It makes problem-solving easier and strengthens motivation to pursue goals.

3. Social perspective:

Happiness is contagious. When you’re happy, you improve the emotional climate around you—family, friends, coworkers. It deepens connection and trust.

4. Existential/Philosophical perspective:

Some traditions argue happiness is not the goal but a byproduct of living meaningfully—aligning with values, pursuing purpose, and embracing life’s experiences. Others say happiness is its own justification: if we can create joy in the face of life’s challenges, that itself is an act of defiance and freedom.

5. Practical perspective:

Life is limited. If suffering and struggle will come no matter what, why not cultivate happiness where and when you can? It makes the journey lighter, even if it doesn’t erase the hardships”.

****

Pretty interesting response generated by ChatGPT; in fact, very insightful, direct, clear with practical advice. I then followed up with another question: “How best to remove sadness, anger, bitterness and resentment from your life?” Again, the AI response in 7 seconds:

****

“That’s a powerful and courageous question. Removing—or more accurately, transforming—sadness, anger, bitterness, and resentment isn’t about denying or suppressing them. It’s about clearing space so you can live with more freedom, purpose, and joy.

Here’s a step-by-step framework tailored for you:

1. Acknowledge without judgment.

• Name the feelings when they arise: “This is anger.” “This is resentment.”

• By naming, you shift from “being the feeling” to “observing the feeling”.

• Remember: emotions are signals, not identity.

2. Locate the root.

• Sadness often points to loss or longing.

• Anger points to a boundary crossed.

• Bitterness points to unmet expectations.

• Resentment points to unspoken agreements or sacrifices.

  
  

  Writing about these origins (journaling, voice notes) helps loosen their grip.

3. Practice emotional alchemy.

• Sadness → Compassion. Ask: How can I soften toward myself and others in this loss?

• Anger → Clarity. Channel it into action: boundary-setting, advocacy, self-protection.

• Bitterness → Gratitude. Shift focus from what was denied to what was given.

• Resentment → Empowerment. Speak your needs, adjust expectations, renegotiate your “yes.”

4. Release physically.

Emotions live in the body. To clear them, engage in:

• Exercise of all forms.

• Deep exhalations—literally breathing out anger or bitterness.

• Rituals: writing resentments on paper, then tearing or burning them.

5. Rewire through daily rituals.

• Morning reset: Set an intention (e.g., “Today I release what I cannot carry.”).

• Evening purge: Before sleep, name one feeling you’re letting go of, and one you’re inviting in.

• Affirmations: “I choose presence over pain. I choose freedom over resentment.”

6. Shift the narrative.

Ask: What story am I telling myself that keeps me tied to anger, sadness, or bitterness?

Then rewrite it: move from “victim of circumstances” to “author of meaning”.

7. Anchor in purpose.The antidote to bitterness and resentment is forward movement with meaning: transforming personal pain into collective wisdom.

🔑 The key insight: “You don’t remove” sadness, anger, bitterness, or resentment. “You metabolize them”—turning raw experience into energy for growth, clarity, and connection”.

****

Again, interesting insight and recommendations.

What’s the take away? “The ‘take away’ is being happy…. is work. It takes practice, thought, and effort”. Over the years. I have tried many things to impact my thoughts, emotions and actions, i.e., prayer, psychotherapy, exercise and mindfulness….etc. At times, I feel my library collection, in my home office, looks like a: “self-help aisle in a Barnes and Noble store”. I have tried many things for: “self-regulation and growth”….as many of us have. And the journey is not over. Two years ago, I incorporated a text-based mindfulness practice - MindfulText into my daily routine. I have found this text-based mindfulness program to be of personal value for growth, stress-reduction and the development of a mindfulness based daily practice. In fact, MindfulText acts like a compass - showing me the importance and value of:  “staying in the moment….straying in the now”, thereby, providing relief from stress, relief from competing and conflicting thoughts,  relief from unnecessary occupation of worry and concern and relief found in the uncoupling from sadness, anger, bitterness and resentment…..there truly is a sense of freedom and peace found in the exercise of focusing on your breath work of….slow deep breathing….but it is a practice.

www.mindfultext.com

So, the answer is: Being Happy is work. Being Happy is a lighter, less burdensome state….and it’s worth it. Just ask ChatGPT and it will tell you (again in 7 seconds):

****

“It’s almost always better—for your mind, body, and relationships—to be happy rather than sad, angry, bitter, or resentful.

Here’s why:

   •   Happiness is linked to better physical health, longer lifespan, stronger immune function, and more resilient stress response.

   •   Positive emotions broaden your thinking, improve problem-solving, and open doors to connection and opportunity.

   •   Sadness, anger, bitterness, and resentment aren’t “bad” in themselves—they’re signals that something needs attention. But if you hold on to them, they can poison your outlook, harm relationships, and even affect your health (raising blood pressure, increasing inflammation, etc.).

   •   Resentment especially is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to suffer—it keeps you stuck in past injuries and robs you of peace.

The trick isn’t to deny sadness, anger, or bitterness—they have a purpose. The better path is to acknowledge them, learn from them, then let them go so you can “return to….or move forward to happiness, peace, and meaning.”

****

“Happy….is a better place to be….but it is your choice! Breathe in-and-out slowly…. and go into a relax state….and when distracted….focus on your breathing or you can “continue to huff and puff “ while being consumed by the complexity of: sadness, anger, bitterness and resentments….again….your choice.

Choose wisely!