Clearing your Head
- Dr. Lawrence T. Force
- Jul 19
- 2 min read
Clearing your Head….
by
L.T. Force, Ph.D.
Gerontologist
I hear the stories of people and their family systems. I hear the impact that family patterns has on all of us. I’m starting to believe that as a species: “we become what we have witnessed”. For some, it is seamless process, for others, it becomes a life-long struggle where we feel as though we are victims of our past. We protest and say that we don’t want to do this or that - we don’t want to re-create certain behaviors that we have witnessed - and then we awake in the arms of our traditions. What to do?
One of my favorite theorists is Harry Stack Sullivan, a psychiatrist who created the Interpersonal Psychodynamic Theory. “Sullivan believed that personality consists of three components: the good-me, the bad-me and the not-me”. His belief is that we all have good parts and bad parts of our personality….it is only when we have a psychiatric break with reality that the not-me component of personality presents itself. I love and appreciate the work and writings of Dr. Sullivan. His perspective is based on a reality that is embedded with his own personal life experiences. And yes, how we see the world is embedded upon our own personal lived-experiences.
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Harry Stack Sullivan Psychodynamic Theory:
Sullivan focused on anxiety as being a consequence of faulty social interactions. He believed people developed a personification of self and others through the integration of “good me, bad me, and not me” perception (the self-system):
Self System: The collection of experiences or security measures to protect against anxiety
Good Me: represents what people like about themselves and is willing to share with others
Bad Me: what people don’t like about themselves and are not willing to share. Develops in response to negative feedback with feelings of discomfort, displeasure, and distress. The “Bad Me” creates anxiety.
Not Me: the aspects of self that are so anxiety-provoking that the person does not consider them a part of the person. It contains feelings of horror, dread, dread. This part of the self is primarily unconscious (dissociative coping).
(Psych-Mental Health Hub):
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In the spirit of Sullivan’s work: “ we can begin to learn adaptive strategies of: “who we are”. In fact, there is no one better: “ to know….who we are - than ourselves”.
So again, what’s the best movement forward? Simple….”clear your head….get right with yourself”. You know where you want to go and who you want to be. That being said, than the simple next move is to “act like you do”. It can be that easy. Is it work?
Yes, but: “we are not just victims of our past, we are also influenced by our images of the present and vision of the future….blend together all three perspectives, past, present and future….your inner-harmony is worth it….get right with yourself”..
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