Clearing the “Rubble”
Clearing the “Rubble”
by
L.T. Force, Ph.D.
Gerontologist
We all have “Rubble”. Life is a collection of experiences. Components of those experiences consist of accomplishments, moments of pride and goals achieved. However, in that array of life experiences - we also gather and collect disappointments, regrets and “Rubble”.
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The definition of “Rubble”:
rubble
1 of 2
rub· ble ˈrə-bəl
a
: broken fragments (as of rock) resulting from the decay or destruction of a building
fortifications knocked into rubble
— C. S. Forester
b
: a miscellaneous confused mass or group of usually broken or worthless things
2
: waterworn or rough broken stones or bricks use
a miscellaneous confused mass or in filling courses of walls
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I have a personal belief - that has morphed over to my professional world. As I share with my students, as they are progressing along their clinical training, in working with clients and their families: “if it looks too good….it probably isn't”. And what does that mean? When working with clients - as they begin to recount their life experience - if all they share are their accomplishments and successes - and paint a picture that everything is wonderful and perfect in their life (family life and professional life)…. they probably aren’t telling you….or telling themselves the truth. And why? Because if it looks too good - it probably isn’t….because we all have: “Rubble”.
As well, on a personal level, the conversations and exchanges you have with yourself (your internal dialogue) - in reviewing your life, your family life and your professional life only consists of successes, accomplishments and moments of glory - you are probably lying to yourself (or as they would say - it’s a form of denial). Why? Because we all have: “Rubble”.
However, on the flip-side, if your internal dialogue (or the work we, as Practitioners, do with clients) - only focuses on the “Rubble”, i.e. the disappointments, the broken-promises, the regrets - then you need to come to the realization - that yes, “Rubble” does exist - but “it is not the only thing we find on our life path - because we all have successes, accomplishments and moments of glory (both personally and professionally)”.
Knowing this point - what do we do? We learn how to be realistic….we come to the realization that yes, “Rubble exists” - however, it is not the only thing in our past, our present or our future. There are “Gifts we can find in the ‘Rubble’, i.e. the gifts of the ‘learned experience’, and the gifts of realizing what we can build upon from the remnants of our experience”. We can’t deny what has happened, i.e., what the behavior patterns are that have created this “Rubble” …. however, we also can’t be delusional and arrive at a belief - that our “collective experiences” only consist of: “Rubble” - they don’t!
There are lessons to learn from the “Rubble!”.
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