We all have “Souls to Bare”…. or is it… We all have “Souls to Bear”?

We all have “Souls to Bare”…. or is it… We all have “Souls to Bear”?

L.T. Force, Ph.D.

Gerontologist

I listen to stories for a living. We all have stories….each and every one of us. It is the “experiences across the lifespan” that accumulate to become our life story. (On a sidetone - I’m starting to think more about the fact that: “we become what we have witnessed across our lives”. )I see this point playing out in: “listening to the stories of others”. And as I sit in time of quiet thought and reflection - I begin to realize that is also: “ my own story” , i.e. “I am, we are, a reflection and portrayal of the experiences I (we) have witnessed and engaged in across our lives….the good and bad.”

The value found in a “therapeutic relationship” is - it is one of the few places in our society that confidentiality is assured. Yes, in certain religious practices there is this agreement or covenant that what is shared with another (confessed) is governed by a sacred trust of confidentiality. In the secular world, however, a therapeutic exchange also provides this confidential foundation. Individuals will seek out a therapeutic exchange to: “ revisit, review and discuss patterns of behaviors they: are not happy with, proud of, ashamed of, angered by, frustrated by, saddened by….etc.”. As I share with my students and my clients- “we all have stuff”.

So which is it? As the person is moving through life - should they: “Bare their soul” or should they “Bear their soul”/

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Definition and Overview:

In the Bible, Ezekiel 18:20-21 says, "The soul that sinneth, it shall die".

The phrase "bare one's soul":

The phrase "bare one's soul" is a figurative expression that means to reveal one's most private thoughts and feelings
The figurative use of the verb "bare" dates from A.D. 1000
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Bear with me or bare with me?

“Bare with me” is often mistakenly used instead of “Bear with me”, but it’s incorrect and should be avoided.

“Bear” is used as a verb meaning “carry” or “endure” in this expression (not as a noun referring to the animal). “Bare” is usually an adjective; it can also function as a verb meaning “uncover,” but that wouldn’t make sense in this expression.

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From these definitions found in the Bible and in the Dictionary - I don’t think it is either or - regarding: “Bare or Bear your Soul”. In fact, I think the combination of doing both can be very helpful…. we should do both, i.e., bare and bear our souls. The idea of sharing with another your inner thoughts can be very healthy - it can be a form of relief….”a self-cleansing”….providing both: “an emotional and physical exhale”. The idea of: “Bearing your Soul” can also be a component of an added value to your life. We all have experiences we are proud of - and we all have experiences we are ashamed of and regret. However, the good and the bad in our lives, we can learn from them. In some instances, we can’t act as though we didn’t conduct ourselves in a particular way - but on the other side - we can’t act as though - this is the only way we conducted ourselves. Some of my favorite theorists Carl Jung - believes we all have “a Shadow” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_(psychology) ) in our personality - a component of us that we are not proud of….a part of us that we keep within our inner thoughts - not for public display. Another favorite theorist , Harry Stack Sullivan defines personality consisting of the: “good-me, bad-me and not-me” (https://pmhealthnp.com/sullivan-interpersonal-theory/)- indicating we all have good parts and bad parts - but we don’t want to align ourselves with the “not-me component of personality” - where we almost have a psychotic break within ourselves - denying that what we know is true - about our behavior - as though we try to convince ourselves - it really didn’t happen - when in fact it did.

Summary, ”Bare your Soul and Bear your Soul” thereby, allowing yourself to become comfortable with…. and accepting of….who you really are.