L.T. Force, Ph.D.
Wouldn’t it be great if there was a place where one could go to: “deposit your resentments”? Imagine the relief that would bring. An opportunity to uplift all of those: “internal voices” that are swirling around and occupying periods of our: “waking thoughts….and at times, part of our dreamwork”. Resentments are part of the human condition….we all have them….and we handle them differently. For some, they are: ”passing thoughts….brief in nature. However, for others: “resentments are all consuming….they become part of us….part of our being”.
Definition of Resentment:
re· sent· ment ri-ˈzent-mənt
: a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury (Merriam-Webster).
However, what is not noted in the above definition of resentment - is: “some resentments are based upon real offenses to us - they are reality -based….while other resentments are imaginary and self-manufactured”. “Regardless of the nature of the origin of resentments, i.e., real or imagined - they have one thing very much in common - they generate feelings of: bitterness, anger and indignation”. And how you overcome those overwhelming feelings of “resentment” are dictated by a number of variables including, but not limited to, temperament, experiences, levels of tolerance and sense-of-self. With all of those constellations coming together - the: “growth of resentments” will be dictated. Wouldn’t it be great to have a place to unload these resentments - because, in fact, they are intrusive, cumbersome and a definite weight on the soul, spirits, emotions and thoughts of the individual….they are clutter….unnecessary clutter.
The first thought that comes to mind….often I find myself at a Clothes / Shoes Dropbox. There, I have the opportunity to uncluttered….remove things from my life that no longer fit, are no longer needed and are just taking up space. Maybe, we should have: “roadside resentment drop boxes” where we can pull-up and discard….we can unload our resentments. But what if there was an additional tool available that also provided support to individuals as they are: “releasing resentments”? Here is an idea….the creation and development of “Resentments Anonymous” - based on the existing self-help support fellowships and principles.
There is a long-standing history regarding the value of support fellowships. In 1935, Bill Wilson and Robert Smith (Dr. Bob) began a conversation. The value of that conversation launched, now, a variety of worldwide self-help groups based upon the principles found in the 12-Steps and Big Book associated with Alcoholics Anonymous. Today, there are self-help groups addressing a variety of concerns: alcohol, narcotics, sex, eating, gambling….etc. These groups provide support for individuals and family members (Al-Anon's....etc.) who want to make a change in their life. The commonality of these groups - emphasize: “support, you need not do it alone, a connection to spirituality and the strong emphasis on anonymity”.
Yes, resentments can take over our thinking patterns. Yes, however, they need not. And yes, there could be “roadside resentment drop-boxes“ to unload these thoughts - however, that action would be an isolated and lonely action. Rather, I advocate for the development of “Resentments Anonymous” - based upon the principles and actions of the existing self-help fellowships. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful gift? A place, a meeting, a discussion you could attend - to unload your resentments, to learn new strategies and life-patterns in a: “non-judgmental, supportive and anonymous environment.... surrounded by people who truly understand you and accept you....as you are!
What a gift!