Mothers....We all have one
Mothers....We all have one
L.T. Force, Ph.D.
Well, today is Mother’s Day. A day that is celebrated across the world.
"Mother’s Day, holiday in honour of mothers that is celebrated in countries throughout the world. In its modern form the holiday originated in the United States, where it is observed on the second Sunday in May. Many other countries also celebrate the holiday on this date, while some mark the observance at other times of the year. During the Middle Ages the custom developed of allowing those who had moved away to visit their home parishes and their mothers on Laetare Sunday, the fourth Sunday of Lent. This became Mothering Sunday in Britain, where it continued into modern times, although it has largely been replaced by Mother’s Day. Mother's Day is celebrated on Sunday, May 9, 2021."
As I began to think about this writing today - it was obvious that it would be about the holiday of Mother’s Day. We all share the commonality of being able to universally say: “Yes, I too have a Mother!” The reality is, that is where the commonality stops. Because Mothers come in different sizes, different dimensions, with different affects and different styles - in fact, no two Mothers are the same.
In my clinical practice, I listen to: “the stories of individuals and families”. However, I do not use a: “psychoanalytic lens” - with a focus on mainly childhood issues - but rather I use a: “solution-focused perspective” with a view on the :”here and now and the future”. Inadvertently, regardless of the theoretical perspective utilized: “the 'role of the Mother’ always surfaces”.
For some individuals, within the therapeutic exchange, they recount: "episodes and vignettes of unconditional love of and from the Mother". For others, the stories and memories of: “the Mother” are embedded with: "images of disappointment and distance". For some clients: "the role of the Mother is acknowledged and held-dear....for others, the role of the Mother is complicated and complex". For some: "the interactions and exchanges we have had with our Mothers will be passed down intergenerationally". For others: "there will be deliberate decisions - not to transmit these behavior patterns across generations". The gift, however, is that we all have Mothers and today is the day to pause, recognize, celebrate, forgive, acknowledge, understand, honor and love the role they have played in our lives....the role that they have played in helping to create who we are today.
Mothers were with us - before we became occupants on this earth. Mothers were present for us - from the moment the: “Birthing Process began". Today, whether we stand in testimony across the dining room table....or we stand in testimony surrounded by distant memories and images....or we stand in testimony at the foot of a grave....we stand collectively to provide testimony to honor your presence. Happy Mother’s Day, Moms....from all of us....and in the presence of a universal applause and bow: Happy Mother’s Day! and Thanks, Mom....