“FLAW-less” or “FLAW-more”
“FLAW-less” or “FLAW-more”
L.T. Force, Ph. D.
In unabridged Dictionaries - there are over 300,000+ entries or words listed. Many of those words we would love to have associated with the defining traits of our own personalities, i.e., wonderful, smart, engaging, perfect....etc. However, there are also numerous words that we would not like associated with our personalities and behaviors. “FLAW”, a leader on that list, is a word - that we would not like to be
associated with our personality description.
The definition of flaw is: flaw (flɔː)
1. an imperfection, defect, or blemish
2. a crack, breach, or rift
3. (Law) law an invalidating fault or defect in a document or proceeding
to make or become blemished, defective, or imperfect
The question is who would want the word: “FLAW” as a descriptor of their
personality? The answer: “No one!”
When I was working for State Government in an institutional setting - I had a Clinical Supervisor - Dr. Tom Mulhern. Tom is one of the brightest and most insightful individuals I have ever met. His understanding, insight and acceptance of the behavior of individuals has tremendous depth. One day, in a group supervision meeting. - as we were reviewing ‘cases’ - Tom turned and said: “You know, Hypocrisy is part of the human condition”. I was taken by the truth of that statement: “Hypocrisy is part of the human condition”. To understand those words and thereby, accepting hypocritical behavior in others - is evidence of a true understanding of: “the personality and behavior patterns of others” and the dynamics of the : ”human condition”’. However, what’s more important and vital - is to understand and accept that: “hypocrisy is part of:“our own behavior....our own style....and our own patterns”. As is....”FLAW!”
Owning the fact that we, including ourselves, all have a constellation of: “FLAWS” - is a gift of freedom. It is freedom from the energy and effort that is required to act as though we don’t have: “FLAWS”....or breaches in our own character and behavior. Some “FLAWS” are visible and apparent to others....they see them - and at times we don’t. However, the majority of our “FLAWS”….the ones that are crystal clear to us....are only known by us. They live in our head....they live in our thoughts….our
inner voice - and we consistently, in our daily inventory, remind ourselves of what they are - and therefore.... what we are not. The rawness of that statement can be a problem.
A “FLAW” can be limiting in scope and contain us, fracture us....sabotage us....etc. Sounds like this is a problem. Sounds like burden? Sounds like the breeding ground for depression and anxiety? True...could be....if that is what you want them to be. OR.... a “FLAW” in fact can be a gift - they can empower us....they can motivate us....they can energize us....they can change the direction of our lives....they can morph into our strengths - bolstered by insight and acceptance that “FLAWS” are part of our own personal nature - and part of the universal human condition - shared by all.
As you begin to think and reflect on your own collection of: “FLAWS” - “breathe in....and breathe out....exhale....relax” and realize you are not alone. Yes, you could decide that your intent is to become: “FLAWLESS” in thoughts and action. Here is the definition of: “FLAWLESS”:
1. Free from flaws or blemishes:
clear, unblemished, unmarked.
2. In excellent condition:
entire, good, intact, perfect, sound, unblemished, unbroken, undamaged, unharmed, unhurt, unimpaired, uninjured, unmarred, whole.
3. Supremely excellent in quality or nature:
absolute, consummate, faultless, impeccable, indefectible, perfect, unflawed.
However, is that truly realistic and attainable? My recommendation - sit back....and in fact....
“FLAW - MORE”....reflect....accept who you are....change what you want....and instead of striving for - absolute perfection - "FLAW - MORE!” - embrace the frailty, hypocrisy and power found in the:
‘human condition”. Encompass the power found in: “FLAWS”.... while repeating to yourself:
“Yes, I own them....these are my “FLAWS”.... this is me....they are mine....but they are not the only aspect of who I am....it’s not the total definition of who I am....they are only "small drops" of who I am....and in fact, these are gifts that have been given to me....because they will guide me....shape me....help change me….to be the complete person....I really want to be...."