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“Emotional Hurt: The Great Impersonator”



“Emotional Hurt: The Great Impersonator”


by

L.T. Force, Ph.D.

Gerontologist


I have come to realize, as Sigmund Freud implied (Psychoanalytic Theory), in trying to understand behaviors you may have: “to look one level below, i.e., not necessarily at what you see - but rather what might be influencing the overt behavior”.  (Citation: “The psychodynamic perspective in psychology proposes that there are psychological forces underlying human behaviour, feelings, and emotions.” https://opentextbc.ca/introductiontopsychology).


I see the presence of this dynamic no clearer -  then when one try’s to interpret: “Why is that person acting or reacting that way - with evidence of anger, frustration, agitation, annoyance, sadness…etc.?” What I have come to realize (drawing from both a “personal-lived perspective” and a “clinical-practice perspective”) is that underneath many overt behaviors of: anger, frustration, resentment, agitation, annoyance, sadness….etc. you will find: “Emotional Hurt: The Great Impersonator”,


The definition of “Emotional Hurt”. There are multiple definitions of “Emotional Hurt” - in fact, some are linked with the impact on the: “psychological, physical, emotional and spiritual dimensions of the whole person”. Again, I arrive at my own perceptions from my: “personal-lived experiences” coupled with my “clinical-lived experiences”, i.e., listening to my own ‘inner-voice’ coupled with working with individual clients and their family members - and what I tend to find is….underlying the overt behaviors of: anger, frustration, resentment, agitation, annoyance and sadness….etc. you will find “Emotional Hurt” - (driven by an overwhelming feeling of being unappreciated). And what does this mean to me? I recommend that in order for me, you, or others, to understand the origin or reason for these overt behaviors - look one level lower, i.e., what is really driving the formation and presentation of these behaviors. The question is: ”What is the best way to address and resolve these behaviors?”.  The antidote in addressing these behaviors are: “recognition, acknowledgement, validation, support and the power of appreciation found in the simple words: “I really appreciate what you have always done to support me. Thank-you for what you have done”. Try it. You will be amazed at the power found in: “recognition, acknowledgement and appreciation…. in combination…. they are a gold-mine…because as we know: ‘Emotional Hurt is a Great Impersonator’…. disguising itself as: anger, frustration, resentment, agitation, annoyance and sadness….etc.”….


Recommendation: If these exchanges exist (or are present) in your ‘inner-voice’ (intrapersonal) or in your exchanges with others (interpersonal) - talk it out….let the real feeling (hurt) surface - and do not disguise it in the form of other behaviors (anger, frustration, resentment, agitation, annoyance and sadness…etc.).


Simple action: Like the image above portrays….use the necessary tools and equipment to: “Clean it Up….Remove the Stains….Make it Fresh Again….Rinse and Repeat! You won’t regret it!”. Because, as we know, “Emotional Hurt is a Great Impersonator”.”



1 commentaire


Thomas Dubetsky
Thomas Dubetsky
23 juil. 2024

Anger is probably the greatest coverup for how you really feel. You can tell someone I hate so and so. If I get the chance I am going to beat them so they never forget it. Especially as a man. What man wants to say that someone who they considered a friend upset them to the point of no return. That’s for girls!!! We cover up deep sadness and betrayal with revenge seeking anger.

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