The “Inner Code’: Feel Better About Yourself….Feel Better About Others Around You

The “Inner Code’: Feel Better About Yourself….Feel Better About Others Around You

by

L.T. Force, Ph.D.

Gerontologist

Introduction

A simple but powerful “Inner Code”  can reshape the way we see the world and the people in it: “feel better about yourself, and you’ll feel better about others around you”. Seems like common sense, but: “in practice it becomes a guiding principle” that alters your thought patterns and your internal dialogue, changes relationships, builds empathy, and enhances our daily interactions.

Reflection

When we’re burdened with self-doubt, regret, or insecurity, our perception of others is often filtered through that same lens. We may project our discomfort outward—becoming critical, impatient, or dismissive. On the other hand, when we invest in ourselves—nurturing our health, honoring our accomplishments, and practicing self-kindness—we cultivate a reservoir of energy that spills outward. It is truly amazing - how you feel about yourself….. will dictate how you feel about others.Consider how different your day feels when you’ve rested well, affirmed your own worth, and taken time for gratitude - rather than focusing on your perception of how others take you for granted or have no memory of the things you have done for them - or in essence dismiss or dilute the value of your presence in their life.  That sense of grounded confidence - found when you feel better about yourself - makes it easier to see others in a more generous, forgiving, and compassionate light. Instead of focusing on their flaws, and centering on how they make you feel - in your own mind -  we recognize their humanity.

Insight

This “Inner Code” isn’t about ignoring challenges or pretending life is always perfect. It’s about recognizing that self-care and self-respect aren’t selfish—they’re prerequisites for meaningful connections - they are just as necessary for survival - as is breath, food and water. When you feel better about yourself, you’re less likely to interpret others’ actions as threats or insults. You shift from defensiveness to openness, from judgment to curiosity and acceptance. In essence, it takes the focus off of them and their perceived actions and places it where it is necessary ….square-on you.This is why leaders who practice self-awareness inspire loyalty, why teachers who believe in their own value ignite students’ confidence, and why family members and friends who are at peace with themselves make others feel safe. Self-regard is contagious—it sets the tone for every relationship.

Takeaway

The “Inner Code” is simple: invest in your own well-being, and you’ll naturally elevate your view of others. Start small—acknowledge one strength you have, forgive yourself for one mistake, or take one action that restores your energy. Notice how your improved self-perception softens your attitude toward the people around you. When you feel better about yourself, you don’t just change your inner world—you create a ripple effect that makes every interaction brighter: “when you realize it is not really about them - it is about you….it is like a “mirror-effect”, i.e., you reflect onto others what you reflect onto yourself. Try it…..you will be impressed and appreciative of the difference you will find in your day….in your life.”