Resentments: Are for the Baby Brain!
Resentments: Are for the Baby Brain
L. T. Force, Ph.D.
Resentments? I know how to do that! Everyone of us has a skill or a pattern to our thoughts and behaviors. Some of these patterns are learned - by what we have witnessed....and some would say....some patterns are passed down in a intergenerational fashion. I have even heard people quip: “`Did you ever hear the definition of Irish Alzheimer’s disease? You forget everything but the grudges!” (Feel free to change the ethnicity or nationality - as it can apply universally.) However, regardless of the ethnicity or nationality - you can see the point - thought patterns and behaviors can be passed down across generations.
Resentments are an interesting constellation - as they do consist of a combination of intrinistic thoughts and overt behaviors. The definition of “resentment”:
re·sent·ment | \ ri-ˈzent-mənt
Definition of resentment:
a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury (Merriam-Webster)
As you can see the definition of resentment speaks to the issue of a feeling. And that is the interesting part of this construct. Resentments are internally weighted on the person that generates them. Yes, there are overt behaviors that can accompany those feeling, for instance....disconnecting from the person that is at the core of the thought of resentment - or a distancing. However, as indicated the brunt of the weight of this: “ill will” is housed within the confines of the individual that is ruminating about the feelings or actions or lack of feelings or actions of another.
As the title of this writing indicates: “Resentments: Are for the Baby Brain”. And the reasons are clear....we all had a: “Baby Brain”....that is where we started". However, the: "Baby Brain is limited and concrete". I remember once writing an article on: “the mastery and development of cognition” and how as we age - and our brain function increases - we are able to deal with complex material.... and as we develop cognitively into adolescence and beyond we begin to have the capacity to even think abstractly and to begin to: “think about thinking”. This skill becomes more pronounced as we become older....with our ability to organize and reason. However, if there is a presence of a lifelong disability or Alzheimer’s disease or a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) the capacity to master complex material becomes weakened or is absent.
Building upon this foundation - if we know that resentments are internally driven and directed - what is the function of holding on to them? As adults, we have the cognitive capacity, to understand that cultivating a resentment - only impacts the person who is harboring that: "feeling of ill will” - then why do we function within the confines of our: “Baby Brain?” Whereas, the gift to oneself is to be able to release yourself from being held hostage by resentments by using the fully capacity of the:
"Adult Brain"....where the cognitive capacity of an adult allows one the strength, awareness and gift to:
“Let it go!” And in the process: "Free yourself!" We are so much more than our :
“Baby Brains”...we just have to act as though we are. Welcome to the land of adulthood - with full brain capacity and all....to guide the way....